Your voice in my head was so loud sometimes
An echo of things said when we were young
An echo of words that sometimes still chimes
A lot of times silencing what I sung
In sincerest your voice used to be harsh
But I too know how I then used to be
Our thread of connection we left in sparce
Clearly did we only later on see
Even when you left to study abroad
Your voice kept me company through these years
As a reminder of how I was flawed
One accompanying me in my tears
So much that I held against you back then
Old words that kept in my head repeating
In my head over and over again
Where our roughed thread was constantly thinning
But as you left so slowly did that too
Your voice getting muted with space between
But so did the thread between me and you
And the seeking to be by you then seen
I know that things weren’t easy with me
My constant behaviour of bitterness
Negative thoughts that I’d on you let free
A scissor cutting our thread in sharpness
Words that I too back then started saying
It was bidirectional in such ways
The way we our edges were sharpening
When all it then turned into a bleak haze
And what now has emerged is too
But this time effort on both our sides
Seeking each other out when we are blue
Our silver lining with long forward strides
Your validation that I so back then sought
Now your voice turning into one that helps
And that with my persistent battles fought
One that those frozen past pains away melts
Your change bringing about one in me too
In a way that our knot is now tighter
Where effort is there from both of us two
The thread carrying a burden lighter
Despite all that we both had to go through
I am so glad you’re my older brother
The dark past we can no longer undo
But all that we can now do that’s better
I love you Dane; despite all the pain, I would, nevertheless, go through it again if it would mean that we would have that what we now do – I would not replace that for anything.